I don’t know when it began. From the beginning I remember being happy and carefree because of my family. I loved them. And I mean nothing-compared-to-them type of love. The way the house flowed – everyone doing their part; the dinner menu was always on point – and tasted so good (all my favorites, if you can believe it!); and I didn’t even mind the ‘chores’ – if we can call them that, because when everyone is doing their part, it felt more like my contribution to a winning team.
So when did things go south?
I think it all began when I noticed the menu started changing. We weren’t having my favorites anymore. In fact, I didn’t even know what some of those foods were – which is a annoying, right? To have to learn something new when you’re used to what you want?
Then there was the fact that I had always sat in the same chair at the dinner table for as long as I can remember. I remember that Sunday, when I was a little late to the table because I had been scrolling through Facebook, which made me late to washing my hands, and as a result, arriving at the table ten minutes past dinner time. And there she sat – my sister – in MY seat!
Next thing you know, I’m being asked to do extra chores because of our family growth. (As if that was MY fault!) “Please take out the garbage.” “Can you make dinner tonight, I have a meeting, so I don’t be home in time?” “We need the house vacuumed before you leave for the day.”
Small changes led to bigger disappointments. Plus, one of my friends was telling me about her family and I could tell mine just wasn’t going to cut it for me any longer. She invited me over one weekend and I was shocked! It was beautiful and I asked to move in.
They said yes!!!
So, I left my family and moved in with my friend’s family. I loved the food, was happy to help with the chores, and I felt right at home. It was great and naturally I was happy.
But then my other friend started telling me about her family and the fun things they do every weekend. I am starting to think I need to leave my new family, too!
Sadly, I’m talking about church. And even sadder is the fact that so many people do this very thing when it comes to where they worship. They are ALL IN, contributing, not complaining, and growing in their relationship with the Lord. When all of a sudden, the devil plants a seed of complaint in them when the worship leader changes the songs; or sings too many worships songs and not enough praise ones; or the media department doesn’t change the words on the screen quick enough, you don’t know the song, and you can’t even follow along.
Next thing you know, you’re noticing you have other things to do in the mornings that are making you late (like respond to your Facebook or Twitter feeds or get more than one child out the door on time) and someone has the audacity to sit in your seat.
Or… the list goes on and on. The bottom line is, we start thinking church is about us. We want to hear the songs we like ( or hear a message from the Pastor, who is that and why are they preaching? ); we want our seat, music that we like, the temperature right, a quick escape from the parking lot, our children to be entertained, our egos stroked, and
“Don’t you dare say something across the pulpit that offends me!”
Church was never meant to become a place Christians are entertained, have their beliefs and opinions affirmed, or a check block on the ‘Five Musts to Get to Heaven’ list. Church is place for the broken, the sinner, and the student of Christ – where we serve and have all things in common so those on the outside take note.
What? The Church is supposed to look different than the rest of the world?
Our family moves every three to five years, which means we are looking for a new church home that often, as well. And one thing God told me when we were looking for a church (and writing our ‘pros and cons’ lists) is:
“When you stop judging churches by your wish list for a church, I will lead you to where I want you to attend and serve.”
As silly as the beginning of this blog sounded – someone wanting to leave their family because Mom stopped making their favorite meals and they were expected to contribute more due to growth in the house – would you not agree that many are doing the same thing in church? And that truly is our family if we are a believer.