Getting Through Deployments

Month one- get something done

     Whatever is on your to-do list that you have been putting off, get it done. = great distraction
 
Month two- something for you
     Do something special for your deployed spouse. A special care package, a photo session and send a framed photo, etcetera. 
 
Month three- something for me
     You deserve it, go pamper yourself or buy something you want. Reward yourself for getting this far. 
 
Month four- get out the door
     Plan a trip- it doesn’t have to be far away or expensive, but plan an outing to do this month or when your spouse returns 
 
Month five- come alive
     Do something that makes you come alive. What is your passion? Dancing, painting, hiking, karaoke, etc. Plan and do something that excites you!
 
Month six- weekly mix
     Every week of this month, pick one thing to do from below:
          A) Make a playlist of music that represents your relationship
          B) Bake something and take it to another spouse of a deployed Soldier
          C) volunteer- give of your time and talents somewhere in your community (or your FRG!)
          D) get organized- go through your closets, cabinets, desks, and nooks and crannies and clean out the old (don’t be a hoarder- get rid if anything you haven’t used in a year or documents over 7 years old)
 
Month seven – just like heaven
     Make a list of all the things you miss about your spouse that makes your marriage heaven. One another piece of paper, write down anything that you don’t miss that YOU do when they are home. Now, take the two lists and make a goal to do more of list one and less of list two upon their return. (Each deployment / separation is an opportunity to see the good and the bad we are cultivating in our marriage. Take the time to take stock in what you have and where YOU can change *this is not about changing THEM)
 
Month eight- can’t wait
     Make a list of all of the things you can’t wait to do with your spouse. This can be a running list that you add to everyday. Keep a copy for yourself and send them one so you both can anticipate the reunion. 
 
Month nine- it is time. 
     This will be the longest month and the shortest. So much to do. Get involved with the FRG, if you haven’t already, and plan the reunion. Volunteer to help with the single Soldiers’ barracks, the welcome home decorating, and the reunion events. The more involved you are the faster this month will go!

I Want to Love

I listened to your unfeigned voice,
the emotion in your falsetto;
I watched your face illuminate
as you sang about your love;
Hearing the words you chose,
such sweet poetry of the heart.
I want to love this one you know.

Put the needle of hope in my arm.
Place the tape of optimism
to secure it there.
As I count back from 5
Let me fall
Into love like this
As I count back from 4
Let me live.

You create a brand new zeitgeist,
the candor in your song.
The evident way you love them
paints an enviable bliss.
Your convincing melody is
an anesthetic to my pessimism.
I want to love this one you know.

Put the needle of hope in my arm.
Place the tape of optimism
to secure it there.
As I count back from 3
Let me fall
Into love like this
As I count back from 2
Let me live.

You articulate my dreams well;
the ones that carry me to heaven.
You cauterize this hemorrhaging heart
stabbed by a cruelty of selfishness.
Your ability, willingness, to open up
to want for beyond yourself.
I want to love this one you know.

Put the needle of hope in my arm.
Place the tape of optimism
to secure it there.
As I count back from 1
Let me fall
Into love like this
Into love like this

Golgotha beats a Full house

Place the hot coals on my lips
As I deny such a disquieting vice
Rip off the fingers that reach
For the pistol prepared for roulette
Sear my eyes closed while I walk
Down aisles offering to satiate
Shove a stick or two and beat my drums
So I no longer hear these demons hum
A ransom has been offered
For the child to come back to Sheol
Back where she can play and laugh
Laugh at
Emptiness
Foolishness
Randomness
Ignorance
Stupidity
Tripping
Slipping
Sinking
Further
Down.
Place the paper on these trembling legs
As I try to pen some of these feelings out
Rid myself of haunting words
For a chance to rest tonight
Sear the portal existing
Down in the nadir of despair
Shove back the devils that tempt
So tonight I do not succumb
A ransom was offered
For this child to overcome
Back on a cross at Golgotha

Strangers so Close

Don’t judge

you really don’t know me

You can tell me what my favorite color is

it doesn’t mean you know the color of my heart.

You know what my favorite song is

but you don’t understand the song of my soul.

You recognize my voice in a crowd

but you’ve never really heard me

You accept all of my idiocycracies

but you really don’t get me

You really don’t know me

Don’t judge

Surrounded and Alone

Seven people live in his house

but he was all alone.

Six people work in the same room as him

but he was all alone.

Five days a week he has lunch with three

but he was all alone.

Four hours on Friday he plays cards

but he was all alone.

Three siblings in his family, all very close

but he was all alone.

Two years now he’s been married

but he was all alone.

One is the only one who could save him

from being all alone.

Your Love Brings me Through

You not only hear

The cry from my soul

But You hear every tear

As it hits the floor

 

You not only love me

When I do right

But you love me with

All my faults and my lies

 

I can’t seem to be

Unloved by You

I can’t seem to run

Out of mercy with You

I can’t seem to fail

At anything with You

Because Your love

Your love always brings

me through.

 

I not only want

With my mind to love you

But with my strength, my might

And my heart too

 

I not only want

To never fail You

But live my life So I

Don’t fail others too

 

I can’t seem to be

Unloved by You

I can’t seem to run

Out of mercy with You

I can’t seem to fail

At anything with You

Because Your love

Your love always brings

me through.

 

Bridge: I live

             I lie

             I learn

             You love

             You lift

             You turn

             Spirit

             Help me now

             Open my eyes

             Show me how

 

I can’t seem to be

Unloved by You

I can’t seem to run

Out of mercy with You

I can’t seem to fail

At anything with You

Because Your love

Your love always brings

me through.

 

Have sex God’s way

How does God really feel about sex? Looking at some of the scriptures in the Bible I would say that He’s all for it. (Not a newsflash, I know) God created sex. Everything God created was good. The problem comes in with the devil.

 Looking at the law of first mention

“In the Beginning God created the Heavens and the Earth and it was GOOD.”
What happened?

Tohuw and Bohuw

What is that, you say? “without form and void.” The actual translation from the Torah says “Tohuw and Bohuw. If you look those words up you’ll come to the conclusion and answer I did: the devil. Somewhere between Genesis 1:1 and 1:2 is where Isaiah 14:12 comes in.

“How you are fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning!”

When Satan fell to the earth he brought Tohuw and Bohuw with him so all that was created “good” became infected. Including sex.

  • God never intended for people to be ashamed of their bodies- that was the devil’s doing.
  • God never intended for people to have sex outside of the covenant of marriage- devil’s doing.
  • God never intended for sex to be an act of self-gratification- devil’s doing.
  • God never intended for people to need to ask questions about sex- devil’s doing.

God is all for an intimate, open relationship between a husband and wife without any form of fear. Unfortunately, today what you find is fear in many different forms haunting and polluting married couples.

Women come into marriage thinking that they must be XY and Z in order to be a good wife. Sometimes past relationships paralyze their ability to enjoy their husband intimately. Other times they’re plagued with images of women in such a fashion that they don’t feel beautiful any longer, or they feel they are only loved for the wrong reasons.

Likewise, men have been so invaded with images of women that it is difficult for them to keep their minds pure and faithful to their spouse. Another issue men face is the unreasonable expectations women hold for their husbands based off of fantasy novels and “fairytale” movies and television shows. Most of the expectations women enter a marriage with are nothing more than unattainable.

So what do you do?

Have sex God’s way.

  1. Keep your mind set on things above- I don’t mean to think about God while having sex, either. I mean to keep your mind (soul) centered on the things that please God. Pornography, lust, manipulation and selfishness are not of God.
  2. Do everything in love. I am not talking about just loving the person you are with. Walk in love when it comes to that person. Be patient, kind, don’t envy, don’t seek your own, don’t be easily provoked or behave rudely, believe the best of your partner, hope for the best and endure everything that comes.
  3. Another part that goes with love- “Perfect love casts out fear.” When you really love someone, there should be no fear. You shouldn’t fear whether or not they’ll cheat on you, whether they really love you or if they might hurt you. If you have any of those fears then you need to work on your concept of love. (noted)

I’m going to end with this thought: If God created sex and it is “good”- why are so many people settling for the alternative the devil has offered?